This is Your Life
by TammyDevil666
Summary: A different ending to Crush. Buffy somehow gets a glimpse of the future after Spike admits to being in love with her. How will that change her opinion of him?


I was just bored sitting at the computer and I thought of this little ficlet to write. It's just me really changing the end of "Crush." I really couldn't say where this came from. Sorry for the huge paragraph in the beginning. I hate those myself, but I wasn't sure how to break it up. I know my friend hates these long paragraphs also, so this one is for you Kat. Hope you guys would like it and leave me a review when you're done. Now, let's take a trip down memory lane!

* * *

"Just give me something. A crumb, a barest smidgen. Tell me...maybe, someday, there's a chance." Spike said practically begging Buffy. She looked into his eyes and was about to tell him that he had no chance, when something suddenly went through her. She didn't know what was wrong and closed her eyes at the bright light that seemed to be in front of her. It was like she was watching her whole life flash before her eyes. Well, her life after she became the Slayer anyway. She saw her first meeting with Spike. She saw all the times they fought together, neither one being able to get the upper hand. It's like they were perfect equals. She wondered why she never noticed that before. She then saw memories that didn't make any sense to her. She saw her death and Spike grieving for her. She saw Spike taking care of Dawn. She saw her being brought back to life and Spike being the only one she could talk to. She saw how she used him and how he took it. He never stopped loving her even after that. She saw what he went through to get his soul back, for her. Buffy couldn't believe that any vampire would do that, but she was finally starting to see that Spike wasn't like any other vampire. She then saw herself guiding a lot of young girls and getting them prepared for battle. She saw how Spike was by her side through everything. He was the only one that stuck by her when everyone else kicked her out of her house, including her own sister. She saw the fight with the First and all the lives that were lost. She saw Spike's sacrifice as he gave up his life to save the world. She saw him get engulfed by the flames, until there was nothing left. She could feel everything that he felt at that moment. Buffy shut her eyes harder as the light got brighter. When she opened her eyes again, she saw that things were different. Spike was no longer standing in front of her. He was now fighting Harmony and Drusilla was trying to get free. Buffy came back to reality and pulled at the chains harder, trying to break free herself. It was no use as Drusilla broke out of her ropes and came after Buffy. She attacked her and Buffy tried to kick her away. Drusilla had the advantage though and lowered her fangs to Buffy's neck. Buffy closed her eyes and waited for the piercing sting, but it never came. Instead, she saw Spike push Drusilla away and then unchain her. She rubbed her wrists when she was finally free and they both looked at Drusilla, who had a pained expression on her face. Buffy wasn't even paying attention to what the vampiress was saying and just watched her walk away. She then noticed that Harmony did the same, until it was just her and Spike there. She looked at the soft expression on his face and then thought back to everything she saw. She didn't know how, but she knew that she just relived what would happen in her future. She had a lot to think about and just walked away from Spike and out of the crypt. Spike sighed and ran after her. "Buffy!" He yelled when they were outside. Buffy then stopped and turned around to look at him. "Please, let's just talk about this. Everything that I said to you was true. I know I may have gone about it the wrong way, but you have to believe that I love you. Please, Buffy. Don't shut me out." Buffy heard the pleading tone in his voice and took a deep breath.

"Would you have really done it?" She found herself saying and Spike raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting that.

"Done what?" He wondered and Buffy looked into his eyes again.

"Killed Drusilla for me?" She said and Spike gave her a serious expression.

"In a heartbeat." He told her and then had a small smile on his face. "Well, obviously not mine." Buffy couldn't help the smile that graced her lips also.

"I don't approve of the chains." She told him and Spike shook his head.

"Never going to happen again, love. I just didn't know how else to get you to listen. I know you can never love me because I don't have a soul, but all I'm asking right now is for you to let me love you. Let me show you how much I've changed, Buffy. I can prove to you that I don't need a soul to love." Buffy took a deep breath and walked closer to him.

"You have a soul, Spike. It's right in here." She stated as she placed her hand over his heart. "I don't think it ever left when you were turned. You've always been different from other vampires. I'm finally starting to see that. I know that you can be a good man. I feel it." Spike looked at her in awe at what she said. He couldn't believe that this was really Buffy speaking to him.

"Did you hit your head or something? Since when do you have anything nice to say about me?" He wondered and Buffy gave him another smile.

"Since I took a look into the future. Into our future." She explained and Spike was still confused.

"Care to elaborate on that, pet?" He asked her.

"Let's just say that I had a wake up call while I was chained up. I don't know how it happened, but I saw everything. I saw everything that happened with us in the past and what's going to happen with us in the future." Spike took in everything she was saying.

"So, I'm still around in the near future then?" He wondered.

"Things are going to happen, Spike. Things that I can't let happen. Now that I know what's in store, there's a lot we have to change. Change them for the better. I believe that we can make that happen." She explained and Spike still couldn't believe what was happening.

"You're saying you would still want me around?" He asked just wanting to be sure and Buffy nodded as she grabbed his hand.

"I'm saying that I need you around. I can't do this without you." She said and Spike gave her hand a squeeze.

"I'm with you, Buffy. I'll never leave you." Buffy nodded and felt tears in her eyes knowing that he would die only a few years from now. She couldn't let that happen. She then moved even closer to him and planted a kiss on his lips. Spike was beyond surprised and started to kiss her back. She pulled away after a few seconds and looked at the surprised expression on his face.

"I'm willing to give you that crumb, Spike. More than a crumb, if that's okay with you." She told him with a smile and Spike had to smile in return.

"God, yes. That's bloody okay with me. Better than okay." He stated and Buffy had to smile again.

"First, we're going to tell my friends about us. I'm not keeping you a secret. You're in my world completely now and they need to know." Spike nodded and was still in awe at everything that was happening, but he remained quiet. "Also, no kitten poker. No good can come out of that." Spike looked embarrassed that she knew about that, but he only nodded. Buffy then thought about what else she wanted to say, when something else occurred to her. She grabbed Spike's hand and rushed home. Spike wondered why she was in such a hurry, but he just let her pull him away. He would follow her anywhere. She then stopped when she got to her house and looked at the confused expression on his face. "We'll talk more later. I need you to stay with Dawn tonight. I have to get my mother to the hospital." She explained and Spike wondered what was wrong. He thought everything was okay with Joyce. "Just don't ask any questions right now. I'll explain everything later, okay?" Spike nodded and couldn't think of anything else to say. Buffy only smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. She then thought of something else. "When we get the chance, I need you to claim me. We need to claim each other actually, so we'll always be able to feel one another. We may be a lot stronger then." Spike was beyond shocked now. That was the last thing he ever expected to hear from Buffy. He gave her the biggest smile that she has ever seen.

"I think I've died and gone to Heaven." He said and knew that he would never really get to see Heaven, but this was as close as he would get. Buffy put a smile of her own on her face.

"No, but I might be able to tell you what Heaven's like." She replied and Spike didn't say anything else as Buffy then pulled him into her house. She had a lot to explain to her friends, but right now she had to worry about her mother. Things would be different this time. Buffy would make sure of that. She promised herself that they would have a better future. One way or another.

_This is your life  
Are you who you want to be?  
__  
This is your life  
Is it everything you've dreamed it would be?  
__  
When the world was younger  
and you had everything to lose, _

Don't close your eyes.

**The End**

The song was "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot. Just felt like putting a little of it in there. I know it sounds like there could be a sequel, but I have no ideas at the moment. You never know when something would come to me. Okay, the hands are seriously cramping up on me right now. Typing is a bad thing for me, but I do it anyway. I just love writing and getting these stories out for all of you to read. Those that are interested anyway. I suppose I'll just have to pay the price, damn carpal tunnel syndrome is a bitch though. It really sucks to deal with that at my age, but type I must. Okay, channeling Yoda now. This is a sign that I am very tired. Episode 3 was an awesome movie by the way and I definitely recommend it. Well, I hope ya'll liked this and would let me know how it was. Thanks ever so!


End file.
